Go Home, Lassie!

This is Minesota! This dog showed up on our back porch last week. Where did it come from? If only I knew. I called it to come outside our fence and shut it and minutes later it's back on the porch! The dog is jumping over the fence! How am I suppose to get rid of this thing? We decided, after talking to some other folks, that we would keep it in the yard for a couple days just in case someone came looking for it. Then a friend comes over and says, "Oh, yah. I saw that dog miles from here!" Fabulous! So if it did have a home, it is no where near it!
Well, Ben took off back to Abilene for a couple days so it just hung out and ate all our cats' frikin' cat food! I even bought it dog food so it wouldn't starve and it still ate their cat food! The poor cats were hissing and running up the trees and climbing the ladder to the roof. We tried to put their food on a table and the dog jumped onto the table.
The kids really wanted to keep it, of course but then it ate a pair of Izzy's tennis shoes! It chewed up a little baseball glove! It chewed up a pair of Aiden's sandles. It chewed up a cover for the outside faucet. And finally it brought a skull into the yard and chewed off it's horns! Needless to say, Ben took it "away". It was a nice dog but... not good enough!